Part 1:
When we think laterally about our problems we are more likely
to find solutions
I recently had a client who was warned not to see me by her
physician. He recommended she go back on anti depressants despite her
explaining to him that she has improved remarkably over the past 3 months. Her
attempt to also explain she was only feeling down due to a recent circumstance
at work and needed a couple of days to implement some personal development
exercises that will reduce the the stress and get centred was greet with
disinterest.
The doctor expressed his concern that he believed seeing a
life coach is dangerous and advised this should be avoided. I was informed that
he didn’t seem interested in how her life had improved and what was the current
circumstance that was causing undue stress. He seemed eager to put her on a
mental health program aided by anti depressants without a diagnostic that would
warrant it. He also attempted to ignore her wishes to take time out to think
about her decision to follow his recommendations.
At the payment stage there was another attempt by the admin
lady to pressure her into paying for the mental health program. After
reinforcing her right to think about it and refusing to pay for the program
referral charge, she walked out disappointed by the doctor’s lack of attention
and respect.
I get a lot of clients who are caught between following a
doctor’s medical advice and wanting a drug free solution to addressing their
personal challenges. This is why I wanted to write about the issues involved in
this important process that is often compromised by fear, confusion, conflict
and distress.
Firstly, it’s important to clarify that you are personally
responsible for your health. When you visit a doctor, they can advise and write
you a prescription, but it‘s your personal responsibility and choice whether
you follow that advice and purchase and ingest that prescription. Most people
do not feel they either have this choice or feel they’re being irresponsible if
they don’t follow it.
Coincidently, I had a coaching session with a very
experienced doctor yesterday who explained that one of her biggest challenges in
her profession was the expectation to have the answers and be 100% responsible
for a client’s well being. From discussions with doctor friends and several
doctor clients, I have come to learn that they do their best with great skill
and impeccable intentions, but are pressured by pharmaceutical corporations and
society to solve problems they are not fully equipped or trained to adequately
handle.
Progressive doctors a very conscious of society’s
overdependence on their medical advice as the solution to their health
problems.
Perth based and guest Today Tonight current affairs presenter
Dr Joe Kosterich shared with me his concerns recently.
“Not everything that ails people has a medical cause. When we
feel down due to events in our lives, that is not a medical issue.” Dr
Kosterich said.
“The solution is to address the issues rather than to frame
how we feel in a disease model. Sadly society has become conditioned to
think every problem has a pill as an answer, he said.
“Engaging with a counselor or life coach can
help people work through problems and come to solutions,” Dr Kosterich said.
While many
doctors may advocate life coaches, the temptation for some doctors to accept
the inferred responsibility for a patient’s total health needs should be
considered for the potential problems this can cause.
Regarding mental health, doctors can only view your body and
brain as a biochemical neurochemical machine that is ‘out of balance’ because
of your genes. They are not trained to address how diet and attitude can be root
causes of your stress, mood swings and overall lack of confidence, even though
many of them use common sense and do a decent job bringing this to their
patient’s attention.
While doctors have their place in providing physical pain
relief, when they move into attempting to offer mental and emotional pain relief,
this is officially out of their jurisdiction. It’s not to say the anti
depressants they are trained to prescribe do not have an extremely helpful
purpose for many people in desperate need for a reprieve from unbearable emotional
pain.
The main challenge is if you are offering a band-aid
solution to a wound that keeps bleeding, at best you’re only numbing the pain
and this may be a welcome bridge a patient needs while they develop coping
skills to heal from their ordeal. However, there is also a high probability
that you are inevitably prolonging and potentially worsening the personal
issues that caused the person to be depressed in the first place because
numbing the pain can often tempt the person to lose motivation to address the
core issues of how they have been relating and contributing to the problems.
To attempt to understand why a doctor would view a life
coach as dangerous is to appreciate their reliance on controlling the person’s
perception and mood to keep them from self-harm. This is a legitimate concern,
which can pressure a doctor to desperately want to err on the side of caution
simply because it's the only way they know how to care for their patient.
If a life coach does not engage the person at the core
issues and manages to guide the client into a personal development program that
builds their self esteem and provides proven tools to help them deal with their
personal issues, then they run the risk of that person resorting to desperate
measures to end the pain and that may lead to attempts to end their life.
Most people are depressed because they simply are missing
the tools that would help them address the circumstances that give them a
reason to feel depressed. If drugs kept as a last resort, then motivation to
learn and apply the tools can be intensified, increasing their chances to apply
themselves to aligning their mental and emotional state to empowering new ideas
and habits that can create lasting change.
The risk of becoming dependent on medication can mean that
their only option is finding the next drug that will replace the one that is
gradually losing its’ effect on maintaining their even mood. This is a very
disempowering and risky road if you talk to the countless people already on it.
They explain that as you are transitioned off one drug and onto another, your
desperation to escape the emotional and mental anguish reaches dangerously new
highs. Many attempt suicide in this terrifying phase – I have witnessed this
struggle first hand.
For anyone stuck in this predicament, seeing an
inexperienced life coach who is not capable of providing effective personal
development coaching, can make the doctor’s fear more than justified. There is
not a cut and dry solution for anyone. One thing is clear though; the
independent adult in emotional pain is the best person to decide what course of
action to take given they will have to experience the full brunt of their
consequences.
Additionally, one must appreciate the cause and effect
nature that determines our moods and shapes personal experience. How we relate
to ourselves and our relationships can make them empowering or toxic. We can
address sabotaging beliefs that were learned and can be unlearned, that will
instigate a much needed breakthroughs and establish lasting change.
From my 15 years experience in the coaching field, I have
formed the view that it’s important to seek life coaches who address confidence
and personal empowerment as a foundation of their coaching program. Having
success based goals is one thing, but reaching the core issues that affect your
confidence, clarity, motivation and lack of resilience and being able to
address them is profoundly more important than the achievement of the goal
itself.
The journey can be as sweet as the destination. You ought to
find a way to feel great about who you are and enjoy going about doing the very
things that lead you to personal success in a natural way. When you’re in
emotional pain, this is feedback to suggest your ideas need re-evaluating
because some of them are simply incompatible with well being and will continue
to sabotage your efforts to succeed.
Next part is Coming Soon
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George Helou is a
Mind Power Life Coach and Personal Development Perth based in East Perth, Western
Australia. He developed EP7, an Empowered for Purpose in 7 Steps Coaching
Program. George is also trains Perth Life Coaches to add the EP7 process to their life
coaching service.
